Half Moon Bay Weyr

This little queen is slim and dainty, the very picture of elegance and grace… and if you believe that, she's got a bridge in Nerat she'd be happy to sell your gullible ass! No, this isn't some passive broodmare, some timid waif that's about to get blown away on a stiff breeze - she is a rock, she is the hard place, a veritable brick shithouse and she loves every single second of it. She owns her strong and husky form, stride powerful and full of purpose, wings half-cocked as though she's just as likely to punch you with their leading edge as she is to launch herself away from your bullshit. Each knuckle, of paw and wing alike, are gnarled and stricken with shiny slashes of silver, and whether they're scars or markings upon her aureolin hide is anyone's guess, really. Few venture close enough to find out, for she has a honkin' badonkadonk of a tail and she looks like she knows how to use it. Though not much one for flashy colors or unbelievable patterns, she has been graced with a few feminine features, namely cute little freckles that spot the tough bridge of her nose, lending a sort of softness to her tough girl demeanor. White spheres encircle her neck like a strand of pearls, the occasional orb or two escaping across her shoulders to speckle the underside of her wings like an up-close and personal chart of stars.

Egg Name and Description

Forgotten in Nowhere
This egg is pretty unspectacular. It's oval, wider than the bottom than at the top, and its pattern isn't anything outside of ordinary. Cream-white is struck through in bands of light blue, some stripes thicker than others, with every other one marked by four thin strikes around it. It's innocuous and unremarkable, and rather plain — like a striped polo, except //this, my friends, is an egg.//

Impression Message

One second you're minding your own business, perhaps picking that super-sexy robe wedgie, or wondering who else is going to fall prey to dragons on these here sands today, and then it happens. You trip balls. Everything goes topsy-turvy, and you're plunged into a field of color where there is no up, no down, no gravity, only you and a crass crackle of a laugh that dwindles to an apologetic chuckle in your mind. « Ah, sweetsnacks, I knew that was a little too much. Let me just… » Your center of gravity reasserts itself, shapes forming in the technicolor dreamworld around you, as though Lisa Frank threw her color buckets all over the shapes of eggs, candidates, dragons on the sands and called the dripping mess art. At least it is something familiar to cling to as that strong, take-no-crap voice enters your head again. « Better? Yeaaaaah, girl, I know that's better for you. You humans. So freakin' fragile, man, who knew? Not me. » Clearly. « Who am I? Whaaaaaat? You didn't feel me comin' from a mile away? I sure as shells felt you. You were there this whole time, Suriya, I just… you know… had to make sure that little pussy back there knew what's what. Nobody messes with me, you know? Oh, right, me. That's what I was getting to. I'm Seyunestudath, Suriya, and I'm about to become your best friend. Now who do we gotta bang to get some food around here? I'm starved. »

Mindvoice

Tastes Worse Than It Smells

Okay.

So like.

Imagine a unicorn… boned a rhinoceros.

And like. It splooshed. Cause you know how you do when you're horny and makin' the babies.

What would that sploosh look like? Because it sure as hell seems like Seyu's tried to capture that. Her whole entire brain is one great big mindfu— funhouse, inhumanly bright colors dripping and seeping into one another over and over and over in dizzying, eyeblinding displays. Lime green. Hot pink. Vivid cyan. Piss yellow. Traffic cone orange. Wizard robe purple. It's all there in blazing technicolor, and Faranth, but don't you sort of wish it wasn't sometimes.

Because her mind never stops. It's this. It's always this. Sure, shapes might rise up out of the psychedelic mire, but they're like those books full of images from childhood, the ones that definitely didn't ruin your eyes by making you press your nose to the page and slowly pull back until suddenly you see the shape in bizarre 3D. Yeah. It's just like that, and she don't change it for nobody. Not for you. Not for her mom. This is her brain. This is her brain on drugs. Guess what. It's the same.

At least she's not shy about including other sensory elements, though whether they help or make things more confusing, it's honestly sometimes hard to tell. Happy thoughts bring to wafts of warm, fresh-baked sweet goods (« OH MY SWEETSNACKS! »), sad thoughts are utterly soaked in petrichor, and when she's angry, well… the « THHHHHHHHHHHHHBTTTTTTTTTTTT » noise wasn't just for show…

Unfortunately, her mindvoice tastes even worse than it smells, but you know…

« If I had a half-mark for every time I heard a guy say that, I'd have eight half-marks! »

Personality

LOOK. We know that you asked for a dragon that was not happy-go-lucky fluff, but we don't play by the rules. YOU WANT A PAM DRAGON? WRITE HER YOURSELF AND THEN CASH US OUSSIDE, HOW BOU DAH. Instead we gave you a Snow White dragon with a side helping of blue waffles — and not the one Kristen Stewart portrays with slight badassery and a horribly fixed expression. No, we gave you the full on Disney version, replete with warbling songbird tones, a cavalcade of forest friends, and seven men for her to cook, clean, and make nice to on a regular basis. SO TAKE THAT.

… Just kidding. We're totally behind an inappropriate dragon, because of course we are, because we're the worst, so SIT DOWN, BUCKLE UP, AND PREPARE YOURSELF TO GO ON THIS WILD, WILD, (SARCASTIC, FULL OF DONUTS) RIDE because, as Pam would say…

Pam: This deuce ain't gonna drop itself!

You will probably realize fairly early on that there's something not quite right about your queen. We mean, sure. She's a dragon, if a shapely one - she has wings, and four legs, and talons, and even headknobs and a tail. Once she gets around to it, she can fly, but… well… Where most queens command a sense of regal otherworldliness or are dainty to a fault, your dragon is neither. She is big, she is bulky, she is a free spirit, but the most outstanding (or stand-outing) feature she possesses is that great, big, giant, barren field of fu— n vocabulary.

See, even in her youth, your Seyunestudath won't put up with your sass, or Qhatiratrixth's sass, or Chauth's sass, or even her own sass. She says exactly what's on her mind as soon as it comes to her mind and she doesn't bother trying to make it PG-rated for the masses — if you catch what we mean (ie: the end of that prior paragraph was NOT actually 'fun vocabulary' FINGERGUUUUUNS). This will spell trouble for you in a lot of ways, like when it comes to finding a dude-bro or a lady-brah that you want to court (or find particularly appealing), or when you have a disagreement with an authoritative figure that you don't want known because you already just ran three laps for insubordination except — SURPRISE!!! — you got trapped to this dragon and Seyunestudath WILL ANNOUNCE IT. IN THE RUDEST WAY POSSIBLE. TO THE ENTIRE WEYR. Your dragon is an absolute gossip, and there is no such thing as a 'safe secret' when it comes to her or anybody else in the world. She doesn't even keep her own secrets, so we certainly hope you don't expect her to keep yours. At least… not while she's growing up. Possibly not ever.

Pam: Oh, please. You’re so hot for him I could reheat this chili in your cooch.

But let's focus on the more pressing challenges that you will face growing up. The first is that your pudgy majesty will probably be the butt of many jokes and bear the brunt of many wild speculations made by those pesky (YEAH WE SAID IT) dragonhealers and nosy a.f. clutchsiblings of hers (lookin’ at you, Qhatiratrixth). Her girth will probably see you both running extra laps every single day, but the truth is that Seyunestudath's looks are extremely deceptive. See, she's actually probably the most fit, most capable out of her entire clutch (though Jorynth is giving us The Look for that implication), and as she gets older, that badassery will become even more evident. Have you ever heard of an underground dragon fight club? NEITHER HAVE WE, SURIYA, but what's to stop the two of you from STARTING ONE? (We're just kidding, don't actually do that; it's probably against all of the rules.)

Seyu doesn't just know how to fight, she likes to fight. That's right: your dragon doesn't just insert herself at every inappropriate interval with even more, vastly inappropriate one-liners, no. She can back that ish up and she isn't afraid to by any means that come pre-equipped in her arsenal: with teeth, with claws, or with a perfectly timed remark meant to undermine everything. How the heck else are you going to get out of weyrlinghood and into being filthy rich? SOMEBODY HAS TO PAY THE BILLS AROUND HERE, SURIYA. Might as well be the pair of you.

Just… you know… don't tell Val or Suyi why you're sporting a black eye every Tuesday night. What, you thought she'd let you get away with being a pussy? Ha. Buckle up, buttercup, it’s time to get ridden hard!

Pam: [To Malory] And you! The worst of the bunch!
Malory: Me? Why me?
Pam: Five thousand measly dollars?!
Malory: Y'know, maybe I low-balled him at first… But I had some wiggle room.
Pam: Yeah? Well let's see how much you wiggle when I'm whupping five thousand buck's worth of your ass.

Because let’s face facts: Seyunestudath isn't really afraid of anything. She is undauntable, ready to meet any challenge and, more than likely, tackle and maim EVERYTHING and EVERYONE until she's made them her biiiiiiii— est friend. She isn't afraid of who she is, she doesn't guess at where she belongs, she isn't plagued by insecurity; she really just doesn't care what you — or anybody else — thinks about her. Every flaw, every strength, everything good, bad, black, white, grey, and in between thing that makes up this massively brilliant queen is something she acknowledges, something she even has enough confidence to laugh about (most of the time). She wears who she is like armor, impenetrable and barbed, reinforced with sarcasm and a whole entire weyr's worth of inappropriate humor just to keep you and everybody else on your toes. And she likes it.

But here is the thing with Seyunestudath: she's also extremely overlooked for her good qualities. She can be a raging hero, or a strong supporting character. She's fierce, but remarkably unassuming despite how quick she is to come up with something witty or scathing in retort to those who will have the absolute pleasure of making her acquaintance. And despite what her disposition might have you believe, Seyunestudath doesn't truly dislike anybody. If anything, she likes everybody too much, sometimes in wildly inappropriate, colorful ways, ways that, when coupled with an abrasive quality to her glib comments, certainly lend credibility to misunderstandings and may not foster the same kind of unassuming (but not unaware) acceptance of her in turn.

Pam: Now I feel like an asshole.
Malory: When do you not?
Pam: Almost always. I really like me!

When she first emerges from that shell and you both start this new journey of weyrlinghood together, your Seyunestudath will arguably be the glutton of her entire clutch. She wants food, all of the time, even if it means she has to experience the thrill of delicious noms through you while she soaks up just how you feel about it in your head. This has pros and cons, really. The pro: you can totally bribe her to do things you want her to do with food. The cons: you might actually put on a pound or five keeping up with her every whim while she's awake because DON'T WASTE THAT BUBBLY, SURIYA. It might also explain why her go-to phrase always seems to be some variation of, « OH MY SWEETSNACKS! » In that same vein, she shows her flippancy for a topic with a whole lot of « SPLOOSH. » Sometimes that involves water, Suriya. Large amounts of it. Very large, very unapologetic amounts of it.

« OH MY SWEETSNACKS! That bubbly has the little crumbles I know you like. PUT IT IN YOUR MOUTH. »
"I said I don't want to eat a tenth bubbly, Seyu."
« Stop being trifling and EAT IT, SURIYA. »

This is one of those things about your Seyunestudath that will probably never change, the one single constant aside from her crude sense of humor and her particular brand of being the most inappropriate dragon perhaps to ever touch down on Pern. So okay, she pretty much will never change, but at least she owns the kind of dragon she is, and doesn't shy away from it or from criticism.

And, of course… her siblings. When Seyunestudath meets Alida's blue Jorynth, there is no denying the fact that those two dragons are absolute frienemies. Consider him, in this situation, to be her Archer. He is the one that she will gravitate to, the one that might seem more like he's tolerating her rather than actually enjoying her company, but he does enjoy her. Seyunestudath will be the one that laughs at his dry jokes, that butts in with her own hilarious one-liners to capitalize on them and, through her ability to accept pretty much everybody for who they are (even if she judges them from time to time), she and him both have the chemistry (if played just right) to form strong bonds with one another.

« But wait, Jorynth, why are you telling me about your plan not to make Zhelinath jealous. »
« Because I- by the shell, Seyunestudath, I think you might be my best friend. »
« You're my best friend! »
« But what about Suriya? »
« You're my second best friend! »

When it comes to Qhatiratrixth, wellll. He's the one that will insult her to dig himself out of an embarrassing hole while simultaneously giving her his extra share of meat-food because it's complicated. It's so very, very complicated, and Seyu is one of the few dragons that will come from this clutch that is capable of taking such critique in stride. In fact, sometimes she dishes it right back out to him, and if ever there's a hint that maybe, just maybe Seyu's rebuttals and likewise instigating remarks hurt the bronze, well… Seyu might be somewhat apologetic. But only after she makes sure to tell him that he's a, « PUSSY! »

AND THEN THERE IS ZHELINATH. Okay, so here is the thing, Zhelinath and Seyu probably won't get along the best, but Seyunestudath still loves her. It is beyond us, Suriya, how this works, but she does. There's something almost antagonistic about the way Seyunestudath pursues her "relationship" with Zhelinath, but make no mistake: those two talk. A lot. And no, Zhelinath isn't always on Seyu's side, and Seyu isn't afraid to point out every single one of Seyu's flaws or have a laugh at her much more prim and proper disposition (or exploit it), but that's her sister, man. Seyu will fight you (okay, not YOU you, but you as in a general, handwave, BUTTHOLES OF THE GENERAL POPULACE you) for Zhel's honor AND still somehow manage to insult her sister at the same time. We don't question it, we just let it happen. But it's funny. Or it can be. Just trust us. It can be funny.

LAST, but certainly not least, there is Hazeth. Hazeth is the curious one, the well-versed one, the one who doesn't seem to be afraid to leap no matter how tiny and precious and un-ferocious she might appear. Believe us when we say that Hazeth's many weyrlinghood mishaps will not be lost on Seyunestudath, and you can bet your bottom dollar that if Seyu somehow gets wind of her sister's intent to do that VERY ILL ADVISED THING THAT MIGHT RESULT IN MINOR INJURY #49085094, Seyu is somewhere in the fray, cheering her on.

But no matter what kind of relationship she forms with anybody else, Suriya, you are always her very best, very favorite, most specialist person.

Archer: Are you shitting me?!?
Pam: Awwww, I wouldn't shit you, you're my favourite turd!

Last but not least: her leadership. Suriya, if you plan to ascend to greatness expecting that Seyunestudath will somehow, someway, decide to stop being so crass and focus on all things politically oriented, you're wrong. Your queen can surely lead if it comes down to it — she's a natural. She's willing to listen, she's willing to consider, she has crafty ideas for how to make things work or how to make things work for you, and she somehow, inexplicably, always seems to be prepared for every single situation you two run into, no matter what the situation is. But she will never be the kind of dragon that you want to bring into your meetings when you're trying to strike a political deal. Ever. She is crass, she is ruthless, and while she can be just as much of a supporting character as the leader within Half Moon Bay Weyr, she never, ever seems to tame her tongue for anybody. So good luck! You've totally got this. We believe in you. Really. You got this. You can do the thing. It’s fine. It’s all fine here. This is fine. It’s all fine.

"What, was Xanadu's leadership busy?"
« Busy being pussies! »
“Seyu…”
« WHAT? They were. Pussies and loud as frickballs at that. Swear to Farry herself, that gold’s gonna make me deaf someday. And that’s from me! I’m a walking mindfu- Quit covering your ears, that’s literally not how any of this works! »

Just remember, Seyu is absolutely your cheerleader, Suriya, but sometimes being your cheerleader means dishing out the cold, hard truth to you. Or, at least her version of it anyway. You are not safe from her quick wit or her caustic tongue; no, you are just as susceptible to her questionable sense of humor and un-asked for commentary as anybody else in the weyr.

"Maybe I could kill that pesky old renegade."
« How you gonna do that? Disappoint it to death? »

But she does love you. And she will, despite all of her shortcomings and flaws, be your very best friend and your partner in every crime. She will fight for you, she will walk beside you, she will be there for you, and despite whatever hardships, or trials, or tribulations may find you both on your way towards whatever destination you two have in mind, she will not falter. She will be whatever you need her to be, just… don't expect her to do it in a way the weyr nannies might approve of in front of the children.

Pam: That's gotta be a real knee to the old emotional nut sack.

Ain’t it just, Pam. Ain’t it just.

Physicality

Okay, so let's be blunt and realistic: Seyunestudath is husky, Suriya. She's never going to shed that "baby weight" no matter how much you both (because you done lifemated the wrong dragon if you think this Queen is going to do it by herself) run BUT, somehow, she never seems to add more bulk despite a drive to gorge herself once you get to The Hunt. By which we mean the absolute massacre of herdbeasts. Blood, gore, viscera. Everywhere. No, the beginning of her (and your) life will be marked by the disbelief of healers and AWLM's alike, by those accusational stares that come when Seyunestudath is asking for bucket number three and should have, by all accounts, found herself curled up in the dragon infirmary somewhere, incapable of CONTINUING ON. But she's not out of shape. She's not. With time, people will come to accept that this is just simply how she is, and the lectures and stares will come less often, with less heat and a touch more exasperation.

But we weren't joking about the herdbeasts. Seyunestudath seems to find some kind of highly perverse enjoyment out of absolutely goring her kills, not content to merely take them down and rip out their throats, but to pummel them into the ground. It's something that you will need to be careful of when she's proddy as well, because your Seyu isn't going to be content blooding just one beast and YOU, Suriya, you need to be the one in control in those moments, to fight through all of that sass and stubborn-set persistence to force her away, up into the skies, to ensure that she doesn't muck up her flight and — worse possible outcome — find herself lost to between forever.

Speaking of flights, Seyu is actually very capable in flight. Sure, she's husky and she's not quite capable of aerodynamics (for as badass as she is, she is still a queen), but she is perfectly adequate in the skies. She has a lot (and we mean, a lot) of stamina and, for her bulk and size, she's actually pretty damn fast. She's hyper-aware when she's up in the air which gives her the illusion of better-than-normal reflexes, and those wings are massive, and powerful and strong. It means that she's more than capable of BLOWING THIS POPSICLE STAND, BLAM, PLOWIE, SWOOSH when you run into a situation she deems not worth your time and the most politically savvy response that the two of you can think of means you NOPE right on out of there.

But, despite her size, there's nothing awkward — not truly — about the way she moves. She hunts like a rhinoceros in heat, but that's mere gluttony. She's still capable on her feet despite all those gnarled talons, and she's still capable of backflipping away from your bullshit faster than you can sneeze with those half-cocked sails that go on and on and on forever.

Flights

Pam: How hot am I now? Let me answer that for you. AS BALLS.

Okay, so remember how we said your Seyunestudath doesn't really care what anybody thinks about her? Welllllll. That all kind of changes when it comes time for her hide to glow. See, she flirts aggressively — and we don't mean like other queens or greens, where they try to rend, or fight, or pit males against one another. No, your Seyu flirts with everybody, everywhere, any time, any place, and she does it with wildly inappropriate (but imaginative) vocabulary (or… thinky-thoughts?) that might leave even YOU feeling a little uncomfortable. The worst part is that if she is, for some reason, faced with rejection (and it couldn't be the fact that nobody ever said, « LET'S DO THIS, » when being propositioned with a not-at-all creepy, « ARE YOU AWAKE, YSGIEUTH? Because things are about to get weird »), it's one of the few times that you will find her bothered. By anything, really.

Pam: I’m a desirable, full-bodied woman, but nobody will have sex with me! And I have so much love to giiiiiiiiive!

But it will not deter her, even if she is faced with males who flee in her wake or a resounding barrier of « NO. » She doesn't seek out any particular qualities, either. There's nobody too short, too… short… too big, or small, or blue, or green, or brown, or bronze, or gold to be on the receiving end of her special brand of indiscriminate desire. No, your Seyunestudath isn't a particularly picky queen, and that means if the dragon that ends up twining tails with her and catching her mid-flight isn't the kind of dragon that sticks around to help with eggs and be an actual sire after, well… she just isn't too terribly bothered by it. She is a STRONG, INDEPENDENT GOLD-WOMAN-DRAGON. AND SHE AIN'T NEED NO DRAGO-MAN.

Those morning after conversations though…

"I really wish we hadn't have done that."
« I can never unsee him naked. »
"I mean, the size of that thing."
« Haul that big bastard out and you can use it as an umbrella stand. »

… will probably be some of the best memories of your flights. Or, you know. What you can piece together of them in the morning. Or wish would stay lost forever in that convenient haze of dragonlust where you can deny, deny, deny, deny.

When it comes to being a dam, Seyunestudath is not exactly a horrible mother, but she isn't exactly a great one either. She is, of course, a dragon, so there is an instinctive nature to tend those eggs, but who cares if she leaves for fifteen minutes to hunt down a beast? And return back to the sands totally bloody? And so when she lays in the sands she’s then coated with gore and itchy flaky glittery bits? It’s fine. You love scrubbing glitter out of her armpits, and having it trapped in your carpets forever. This is fine.

Because you know what? She's proud of her little eggs; they are, in fact, PROOF that some male dragon out there wanted HER (and why wouldn't they? LOOK AT HER EGGS) to the point that sometimes it MIGHT be a competition to have more eggs, but where Seyu's dam was a fierce protector, Seyu is… well she's a good dragon.

Okay, she's just alright.

Inspiration

SURIYA!!!!!!!!

Welcome to weyrlinghood, and congratulations on your queenie-bo-beanie! It was an absolute pleasure writing her for you, and there were many laughs (and great enjoyment of getting to rewatch Archer) to try and pin down THE MAJESTY THAT IS PAM for you. But, before we get further into the inspirations, let us tell you who this 'WE' is that wrote your Seyunestudath. IT WAS US! SIOBHAN AND LEIA! IN THE FLESH! MOOAHAHAHAHA. RUN FOR YOUR LIFE! Except it's too late, because you're stuck with us forever now. <3 Which means, YES! ONTO THE INSPIRATIONS!

Egg:
The theme for this clutch was BROADWAY MUSICALS! Or, well, any musicals, really. Your egg, Forgotten In Nowhere, was based on the song "You Will Be Found" from Dear Evan Hansen (which you can listen to here, if you like! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mSfH2AuhXfw). The egg and all of its touches were written by Leia! AND NOW YOU KNOW WHY THE DESC WAS SO BAD. (You're welcome.) Funnily enough, one of the other eggs that you picked (specifically: The Egg Where It Happens) was written by Siobhan. SO CLEARLY, SURIYA, THIS WAS KISMET. FATE. MEANT TO BE.

Dragon:
Giiiirl, if you haven't figured out who your dragon is based on after reading through that inspiration then, SURPRISE! It was Snow White. 8)

… Juuuust kidding. IT WAS PAM. FROM ARCHER. IN ALL HER PAM-Y GLORY. We tried to drive more focus into her admirable ability to just give zero effs and state the most inappropriate things because we knew you, out of anybody, would be able to pull it off and make it absolutely hilarious. Her name was more or less a bit of a gag. We pronounce it ‘Say-yoo-ness-too-dayth.’ Have you caught on to what it is yet? Hahahaha. IT'S, "SEE YOU NEXT TUESDAY". You're welcome (and actually that was all Siobhan's genius, so we should grovel before her dragon-naming expertise).

Her hatchling name, 'This Is About To Get Weird,' was derived from the following quote:

Pam: Cyril, are you awake? Because this is about to get weird.

We just felt like it really embraced not only Pam as a character, but who we were aiming for your dragon to be. And of course, this is you at the helm, Suriya, so we knew that you'd be perfectly capable of doing great things with her. We really, really, sincerely hope that you enjoy her, but don't fret if not! Everything we've written down are merely suggestions to help you along the way as you figure out and settle into her personality for yourself. Nothing is set in stone (not even her name, if you HATE IT), and we really do look forward to seeing what you do with her.

Thank you for choosing Half Moon Bay Weyr to be your home, and thank you for trusting us to write your absolutely hilarious (and seriously fun to write) Seyunestudath!

— Leia and Siobhan. <3

Credits