Old Wounds Reopened

Winter - Month 13 of Turn 2715
Half Moon Bay Weyr - Lagoon
A sandy beach running along the edge of the lagoon, between the sparkling waters and the bowl. Given the weyr's tropical climate, riders and dragons can be seen playing in the water nearby or a dolphin can be seen cavorting nearly turn-round. At other times seacraft can be seen coming in under the arch to dock. The lagoon is large enough to fill a quarter of the length of the bowl.

Evening time at the beach and several have come here to recover from the warmth of the day by cooling themselves off in the Lagoon waters. There is one familiar person at least who is not in the water but is running along the beach in the soft sand wearing but a one piece bathing suit. Her furry shadow having given up in chasing the woman on the beach as she sits on one of the beach chairs chewing on a bone.

R'sner was likely here for dragon-bathing. Or at least, he was using the excuse of dragon bathing to be at the lagoon. Now however, Toith is nowhere to be seen, and the weyrlingmaster wanders down the beach in bare feet, open shirt and a drink in one hand, looking every bit the beach-bum that he definitely is not. This time, it is the distinct curly red hair that identifies Kelani and draws his steps that direction, a pleasant "Good evening," offered once he is close enough to do so without yelling.

Drenched hair and covered in sweat gives indication of how long she has been at the beach running when R'sner walks into her path. She at least comes to a stop instead of barreling into him. A bit breathless from the excercise she stands there catching her breath for a moment before she responds. "Yeah…good…evening." She says in with a heavy breath between each word. She runs a hand through her damp hair to push escaped strands back from her face as she takes him in. The clothing, the drink in hand, the casual look of him and arches a brow, "Taking your own advice?" She asks as she finally catches her breath. Sava finally jumps off the chair now that her owner has stopped chasing sand and she sees her favorite greenrider. Yip.

At least he's not three-sheets to the wind, though there seems to be enough buzz to inspire a bit of freedom with expression; enough that R'sner's smile is much more open and relaxed. A shrug of his shoulders about taking his own advice, a lift of the drink in a faux toast. "Only live once, right?" A bit dry. A bit ironic in a dark-humor sense. A lift of an eyebrow for all of that general sweating and panting. "How long have you been out here?" he asks, kneeling to greet Sava with a customary ear-ruffle and softer smile. "Hello Sava."

Slowly Kelani recovers her breath as she stands there. The question gets a glaknce at Rukbat then back to R'sner, "I think it might be safer If I don't answer." Kelani replies with a hint of chagrin in her voice and a half smile. "I am done now…" She says holding hands up defensively to the impending lecture. At least her bruises have mostly healed and no fresh ones to take their place. Sava is more than happy with R'sner's ruffling and leans her head against it. "I am gonna one day find she has abandoned me for you."

"That long?" It's definitely that little bit of alcohol singing through his bloodstream that has R'sner more amused than disapproving of that. "You're a healer. Shouldn't you of all people be aware of the dangers of over-extending yourself?" Teasing. Mostly teasing. A little bit serious, because he wouldn't be Res if he didn't lecture just a little bit. Curse of being Weyrlingmaster, maybe. His attention and gaze is stolen by Sava, the pup earning a wider smile that even flashes a bit of those pearly white teeth he typically keeps hidden. Head-leaning gets ear scratches, while the comment gets a short huff of laughter; more exhale than anything else. "I promise to take exceptional care of her, should she manage to find her way to my ledge."

"I don't have a hitch in my side yet and I have been drinking plenty of water…Dad." Kelani says with hands on hip and a brow arched as she recieves the expected lecture. "I wouldn't be quite so out of breath if I wasn't so out of shape and if it wasn't so sharding hot here." The comment about Sava at least gets a laugh out of her and she crouches down to try to reclaim some of the pup's love with an ear scratch on the other side. "When she grow's wings is a day I will dread. "

That 'dad' comment definitely gets a look; a grimace that gets quickly hidden behind a sip of whatever concoction happens to be in his cup. But it at least keeps R'sner from making any more discouraging comments about pushing too hard. "Not so terrible, in the morning," for the heat. "That it is winter, and yet…" and there's a gesture of his free hand, encompassing both himself and Kelani; his attire, her state of… sweating. "I doubt I will get accustomed to it." But he can enjoy it! Another ruffling of the copious amounts of fur surrounding little Sava, and he pushes himself back to his feet with a grunt. "How are your… extracurricular activities going?" asked companionably. "You seem to be less banged up today."

Kelani sighs at the 'look' and gives him a little nudge, "I have called S'van that once or twice as well. It ain't your age…but you are both quite…protective. I push myself hard but not past my limits." There is a nod to his comments about winter, "I come from the Fort region, tell me about it. They are window deep in snow at the moment." She replies and heads over to her claimed seat to grab a towel to try her face off and hang around her shoulders. "He is away for a few days. Trapped down at Xanadu from what I hear, so here I am…Running." She says with a gesture toward the beach.

"I know nothing of him, except that he is a dragonrider and Toith tells me his dragon is a bronze," which is not terribly dismissive, simply context. "I cannot speak to why he is protective… I suppose I will blame my own condition on my profession." Weyrlings. They require lots of oversight, yo. Them beasties get into TROUBLE. But there is not much more R'sner is going to say in regards to the guy who has been HITTING HER (… unintentionally) being protective. He's also not going to touch that 'dad' comment with a ten-foot-pole and moves right on into winter. "I grew up in Fort Weyr. It was only… recently that I left. I cannot say I miss the snow… though I miss the excuse to have a fire in the hearth." He follows her to her seat, acquiring one along the way with a reach of his hand. It's dragged in the sand for a few paces, then set up near enough to be conversational and allows Res to sink down and relax a bit. "Ah. Well. Alright then," because there's nothing more he can say without reverting to 'protective' mode regarding her break from voluntary physical assault (aka training). "Suppose I should be glad you're not also trying to read a medical text book while doing it." Definitely teasing.

"He is a friend and he has quite a few siblings of which I seem to be treated as one." Kelani gives as her own thoughts on the matter of S'van's protectiveness, a little shrug. She settles on the edge of her seat and looks over to him as he speaks of Fort. "I miss it and don't miss it in equal measure. You can have too much cold as much as too much heat, but at least if you are cold you can get warm. I find other than a dunking its hard to get cool." The teasing gets a mock glare, "I wouldn't want it to get wet or sandy if I tripped." She says in seeming seriousness until she smiles to show she is teasing in turn.

"I loved Fort," R'sner confesses. "The snow, and the seasons. I would have stayed, but after…" pause and a shrug, dismissive without really dismissing anything. "It just wasn't the same." He shifts, slouching down and letting his legs stretch out in front of him, gaze toward the ocean when he takes another sip of his drink. "You are correct to an extent," about getting warm. "It is usually acceptable to add additional layers of clothing to increase your comfort in the cold. But at a certain point, it becomes socially unacceptable to take anymore of them off." Her explanation for keeping books and running separate earns an look and a huff of amusement, a bit of a grin that comes with the, "Of course, what was I thinking," as he engages in the banter.

There against is the hint of some life changing event and curiosity is clear in Kelani's gaze though she recognizes the hurt in it enough to not press. She just lets him have his moment of silence, turning her own gaze to the ocean until he starts to speak once more. "Yeah, I am about as unclothed as I feel comfortable being outside of the bathing room and still warm." She comments agreeably before smiling at his return of banter. "One day they will invent a way to keep books safe against the wet and then try to stop me!"

It passes quick enough, that moment of silent reflection that tightens blue eyes and creases the lines around his mouth into something just shy of a frown. There, and gone again. Helped perhaps, by the contents of his cup and the fact that it was not his first one. And then R'sner is seizing the topic of water-safe books with two hands and running with it. "Perhaps they can figure out how to print text on plastic? That ought to do the trick. Thin sheets of it, like the diagrams I use for the weyrling's lessons." Because they have to have some sort of light-box projection system, right? Sure. THEY DO NOW! "Then at least the book will be safe, should you take a tumble into the surf."

Kelani looks thoughtful at his suggestions of a plastic book and shakes her head, "Now don't be giving me ideas. You are supposed to keep me from some such nonsense." She teases in turn and shifts to lay back on the chair to look up at the evening sky, the dusk giving way to stars. The laying down is clearly invitation for Sava to jump up on her chair near her head and start to lick her salty face. Kelani wringles her nose and giggles, "Sava…thank you ever so much for the bath.."

"I have faith that the cost of such an endeavor is above your Junior Journeyman pay-grade," decides R'sner, booze clearly making him a lot more free with the words in general, nevermind the teasing. It's the ocean that captivates the weyrlingmaster, or at least his gaze is turned in that direction; drink lifted on a routine basis as the contents slowly drain. A glance, drawn her direction at the giggling and comments for the ambitiously affectionate pup. A softer sort of look for the pair of them as he just watches for a moment. "She's a sweet dog," he observes. "My… weyrmate would have loved her," he offers a bit more hesitantly. "But when you're both dragonriders… pets like that can be difficult. Felines don't take as much work, but puppies?" A shake of his head. "Unfair for the canine, being stuck in the weyr during the day. And back then, I rode transport. Can't bring a dog along on that."

"I will start putting marks aside then." She says and shifts on her side, proping her head up with one hand. Sava gives over the facelicking to curl up at her side as Kel strokes the fur. As he speaks of his weyrmate she grows quiet again. Finally into the silence she asks in but a quiet voice, "What was she like?" Curiosity yet getting the better of her but compassion too. A sense that that through the pain he may still wish to speak of it to help share and ease it.

The silence between question posed and answer given is long indeed; seconds into minutes, into moments that see the beach darken still and might pose the question whether or not R'sner intended to answer or acknowledge the question at all. Finally, there is a lift of his glass and the rest of the contents are finished as he tips it back completely. "He, actually," he murmurs into the dark. "He was a bluerider. And he was… a free spirit. Always ready for adventure. Always smiling. He was much nicer than I am. Could make friends with a watchwher, I swear." A halt, coupled with a swallow that betrays the emotion even if his voice comes easily enough. A bit of a pause, not nearly as long as the first one, and he explains. "He got sick. Really sick. We thought it was just a seasonal thing. Everyone was catching it, even me. Only his didn't go away. It just got worse. And worse. And no one could figure out why, or what to do about it…" and now there's a bit of emotion; angry. Frustrated. Fists tightening where they rest at his thigh. "Five fucking Master Healers and no one could-" but he stops there, exhales and moves on. "He died." And I died. He doesn't say it, but it's implied; part of him gone forever.

Kelani watches the profile of the greenrider as she quietly strokes Sava. Not wanting to break the spell of the moment so that he can share his burden. As he describes the free spirit of him there is a sad smile that touches her lips. That of someone remembering a good memory within a sad one. Then as the memory continues the smile fades and she picks up on the emotion he shares as her own eyes glisten. The pain and failure. Perhaps even grief for those she hasn't been able to help save. The curse of the healer. She doesn't try to offer any excuses for her craft but what she does is give Sava a little nudge and the dog easily takes the hint and jumps down on the sand. She pops her legs up on his chair and licks those knuckles.

Once R'sner has finished, silence settles like a cloak about his person; gaze lost to the shadows in the general direction of the horizon. But he's not unaware of Kelani beside him; or Sava, whose attention gets an unclenching of his fist so that he can turn his hand palm-up toward her, fingers curling slowly to scratch gently at the fur beneath her neck. A deep breath, held and then release slowly in a manner that is meant to settle and ground him. "I guess now you can understand why I am not so fond of Healers…" offered by way of silence-breaker, a forced lift to his voice to avoid sounding too dower.

"Its the beast that haunts healers as well. That which we can not overcome. The illness or injury that stays just out of our reach to conquer. I know it means little in the face of your own loss, but we feel the pain as well. Not as deeply or for as long of course…" Kelani starts in a soft voice after some silence. "For all that I am racing to becoming an independent healer, it is what scares me most. When the failure will be mine alone and I will have to look into the faces of those left behind..and know that for my lack of skill they grieve." She turns her gaze downward to wipe tears from her own eyes.

R'sner does not really have it in him to be a comfort to Kelani. But he is at least not an ass; accepting her words with a small nod of his head in acknowledgement. But he makes no move to offer support or encouragement; to assuage that very real concern of hers even as she barrels full speed ahead towards the knot she so desires. His own feelings on Healers were displayed rather precisely in their first meeting, and his feelings for Kelani being a Healer are complicated at best. It's in the pull of his mouth when he's reminded; when he catches her in those moments of craft study or practice. In the tightness of his eyes and the tension of his shoulders. But that tension has to fade if just because he's moving to give attention to Sava, hand flexing and drifting back and forth with the caressing of thick fur. So there is just silence, and attention for the pup, and now and again a fleeting glance toward the Healer in the chair beside him.

There was certainly no expectation of response from the man. Even as the words came forth they were regretted. "I am sorry…I know my fears can not compare to your grief." She finally says then silent for a time. "Thank you for trusting me enough to share." She says in a whisper before rolling on her back to look at the stars. A bit of a loss for words herself. Such a real reminder of what she is taking on. The responsibility, the pain, the blame. Just silence to take in that gulf between them despite the shared jokes and laughter they have also shared.

When R'sner does speak, it's to address the apology that was offered. Low and murmured, because the nature of the conversation and the growing darkness almost demand it. Whispers rather than shouts, though loud enough to be heard. Expressed after a lengthy silence though still on point given where they left off. "You don't need to apologize. You don't need to say anything, in fact," and his voice is steadier now. More like himself; without the strain of emotion pulling at vocal chords or tightening his throat. "I told you because I do trust you," he acknowledges. "But I don't tell people, because I find that it makes them awkward and uncomfortable. They don't know what to say. They don't know how to respond. And the answers are usually hollow," he admits. "I didn't tell you, so that you would answer me. I told you because I wanted you to know." His free hand, the one not engaged in bestowing affection on furry friends, lifts to scrub roughly across eyes and face. "But do me a favor… don't look at me with that… look of sympathy or pity, alright? Saw enough of that when it happened."

Kelani takes a steadying breath to settle herself before she rises to sit once more and face R'sner as he speaks. She nods quietly as she looks up at his face. "I promise to try not to. We know each other's hurts. Yours is safe with me as mine has been well tended by you." She says and extends a hand to him, "Friends?" Two people across so many gulfs of age and background. "That I do not want to lose….who would look after Sava if I go away again." She says attemtping a bit of a joke.

"Thank you." For safe secrets. A glance, and R'sner shifts more upright as he perceives that positions have changed. There is a moment of consideration for the hand being offered, though certainly not for the friendship it implies. A second later and his own is removed from Sava and extended to meet hers between them, a twist of fingers as he grasps her hand in a firm but comfortable hold. "That we are," there is a real earnest, heartfelt emotion in those three little words; a confirmation given with a squeeze of his hand. A more amused sounding exhale, just shy of a snort really, a shake of his head in the dark. "With her jovial nature and adorable good looks? I am certain half the weyr is wrapped around one of her little paws," he decides, sparing the pup in question a glance and a looser smile; relaxing once more. "And you can solve that problem by not leaving. Simple enough."

The hand is grasped with firm fingers of her own before releasing his. There is a light laught at his comment about Sava, "Well most, but not all. S'van can't stand her, but I don't hold it against him." She says before shifting to stand. "I will try not too." She says before stepping closer and well giving him a quick hug before stepping away. "I should get back and bath…I will talk to you later." Those words said rather quick, perhaps surprising herself that she did that.

S'van doesn't like Sava. There's probably a not-so-nice comment on R'sner's tongue for that, but he holds it. If just because it's Kelani, and it's Kelani's friend. And he's got just enough alcohol in his system to know that his comments might be a little loose but not SO much that he can't recognize it and self-censor. So there's a tight-lipped smile for that, which vanishes with the hug. If she's surprised she did it, then he's equally surprised it happened; and just slow enough that there's no return gesture before she's slipping away and out of reach. "I… alright," and a long exhale. He resettles in his chair, apparently content to remain on the beach in the dark for just a little bit longer. "Be safe, Kelani."

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