We're all broken

Eastern Weyr - Sunning Rock
The expanse of stone rising out of the sands forms a sunning rock of great proportions. High above the level of the jungle canopy, the ridge of rock rises, providing sunning perches for the Weyr's army of winged residents. Both firelizards and dragons seem to find this rocky range to their likings.
Night has fallen along the ridge, but the rock here seems to hold the heat of the tropical day even now, warming the hide and soothing away the day's strains. Springtime has arrived on Eastern Weyr, the flowers budding with wild abandon and all about new growth of the jungle seems to be the theme both in the animal and plant kingdoms.
It's fair and mild, with a few clouds in the sky. A faint glow falls upon the coast as overhead the moons appear to be in their full phase.

As the night settles full on Eastern Weyr, there is a spot that is both wide open and vulnerable, and yet strangely isolated from the rest of the weyr. Empty at this time of night, the stone still gives off heat from the autumn day, despite the cool breezes that keep humidity at bay and tickle sweat on tan skin and warm hide. Varmiroth is resting on his belly, strapless, toying with bits of stone and chips of rock that he has found, arranging them into strange patterns before messing them up and beginning again. Leaning against his belly and staring up at the sky is his rider, her hair still long and unkempt, but braided at least. Riding leathers are uncomfortably stiff and new, which might explain why she's removed them, setting them carelessly aside and sitting in a pair of loose PJ pants and a knit tank top.

As strangely isolated this one spot is, it's equally as strange when a certain pale bronze form comes to land, careful not to disturb those already settled in. Velokraeth isn't alone however and Th'ero can be seen unbuckling himself and dismounting with ease. The bronzerider pauses then, brown eyes glancing out into the night and no doubt taking in the view before he's glancing towards Varmiroth and then with a surprise quirk of one brow, down to Kimmila. As he takes a few steps forwards, Velokraeth shifts his position as well, coming to rest on his side, straps and all and careful not to knock into Th'ero or disturb others. His stunted legs are crossed in front of him and there's a curious tilt to the bronze's oversized head as he watched the blue rearrange the rocks and stones. Clearing his throat slightly, Th'ero musters up a faint, but friendly, smile. "Enjoying the view?" he asks, figuring to skip the formal greetings.

Varmiroth lifts his head, abandoning his art for a moment to trumpet a reedy hello to his newest wingmate, causing Kimmila to jump a little, her green eyes focusing on the arrival. "I am," she answers, briefly watching him before she looks past, towards the moon soaked jungle canopy once more. "Sorry I missed graduation. Congratulations." No excuses are given as to why she missed - just a simple apology. "Was it fun?"

Velokraeth answers in kind, but with a rich, low croon directed towards the blue and his fellow wingmate. The bronze then chuffs a little, amused in nature and no doubt curious about the 'art' that Varmiroth is working on. Th'ero gives Kimmila a brief apologetic look when the bluerider jumps, but then he's chuckling, waving off the apology as he steps back and leans back against one of his bronze's extended forearms. "No need to apologize. Things happen, life is busy." He replies, smirking a little. "It was, though I didn't like being on stage. But… it was nice. Zi'on had me help him light those fireworks of his. And I got some gifts." There's a shrug to the latter, a slightly embarrassed gesture from the bronzerider. "What about you. How've you been?"

Varmiroth eyes Velokraeth and then turns his forearm slightly, so his 'art' can not be seen by the bronze. Secrets! "How did the fireworks look? Were they fun?" Kimm asks, glancing at the bronzrider with a slightly twisted smile. "My gift will be the gift of wingmate drunken shenanigans," she proclaims, waving a hand. "Happy graduation. Didn't even get you a card." Smirk. "Did your girlfriend come? What's her name? Was she happy?" She shrugs to the rest, idly poking Varmiroth in the side, which earns a snort. Kimm shrugs. "Okay."

Velokraeth pulls his head back in surprise, but also to be polite if Varmiroth wishes to keep his secrets. Instead, the young bronze turns his head towards the jungle canopy below and settles his head down to simply observe. "I thought they were fun. But I had been with him when he tested a few nights before. Most of the others enjoyed it, but I think it scared some too." Th'ero muses, chuckling dryly near the end. Kimmila's offer earns a grin and a slight nod of his head. "Sounds great. And no card needed. Trust me." He points out, pausing as he crosses his arms loosely over his chest. "Jeyinshi. Yes, she did come and she was happy, I suppose." The bronzerider then tilts his head a little, giving the bluerider a long, searching look. "Just okay?" he asks, frowning a little and likely not entirely believing that. After a hesitant lapse of silence, he adds: "What brings you here, of all places? Didn't think I'd run into a familiar face in Eastern."

Kimmila nods, "The kids probably either loved it or shit themselves," she says with a little grin. "Jeyinshi. Glad she came for you." Double entendre? Maybe. It's hard to tell as Kimm's blank stare fixates on the jungle. She shrugs again. "I'm broken, Th'ero. Not sure what admitting that will do, other than bring down the conversation and make you feel weird." Blunt to the core. "A'ven and I used to spend a lot of time here. When we were here, at Eastern. Before I Impressed at Western."

Th'ero laughs as one hand frees itself so he can rub at the back of his neck. "Probably. Though some of the riders jumped pretty bad too." He muses, before snorting a little. Double entendre, indeed, but the bronzerider doesn't overreact to it, but neither does he reply on the matter. Instead, he only fixes Kimmila with another frown, perhaps in concern though his expression seems more serious. "Ahh, I see." Th'ero replies slowly, no doubt choosing his words carefully as he settles more comfortably against Velokraeth's forearm. "And who isn't broken?" The bronzerider almost mutters. "But if you want to talk, I can listen? Forget worrying about bringing the conversation down."

Kimmila shrugs, "Don't know. Maybe we're all broken, always, and I'm just realizing it now," she says. "But I..I think I was happy with A'ven. I know I was. But then we had Ziani, and…I don't know. I ran away. I fucked it all up." She glances at him to see if he dislikes the swearing. "I ran. For three turns. And he found someone new. That's all there is to it. I messed up. I broke our family. I have to live with that. And it's…hard. To know that /I/ broke this. I wasn't happy, so I ran away, and then when I came home, he wasn't there anymore. Like I'd thought he would be. I never imagined in a million turns that he would find someone else. But he did. And it's my fault." She sighs, tucking her knees to her chin and wrapping her arms around her legs, staring at the stars. "And there's nothing I can do to fix it. I can't try to win him back. He's made his choice clear, and I don't want to cause him any more pain. Part of me wants to go get in Lissi's face, but…it's my fault. Got no one to blame but myself."

There's no reaction from Th'ero to the swearing, not even a twitch or a change in expression from the neutral one he wears while Kimmila speaks. The bronzerider is no stranger to swearing or crudeness, usually being pretty rough himself though he generally holds back until he knows the individual better. After the bluerider finishes, Th'ero takes a slow, deep breath, sucking the air between his teeth before exhaling in a slight sigh. His glance fixes itself on Kimmila though and the look he gives her now is one… of understanding? Certainly seems the bronzerider is at least sympathetic. "That is hard. Very hard." He says, smirking slightly. "Fucked up or not, past is past. You can either dwell on it until it eats away at you or… move on. Fix what you can, but move on. Won't be easy or pleasant, but it's better then blaming yourself for past mistakes." Th'ero doesn't seem to be sugar coating this night, for once.

Kimmila sighs. "I'm not ready to move on," she admits quietly. "I've thought about it and just the thought of the touch of another man fills me with dread." She shudders, her forehead pressed against her knees so he can't see her expression. He asked for this conversation, after all. "A'ven was the only lover I've ever had," she says to her knees. "'Cept for flights, which Varmiroth doesn't win often. I feel…lost. Like a kid again. Not sure what to do or where to go or who to trust. A'ven was always /there/. My other half. My rock. I could always go to him to ask 'what do I do now'? But I can't anymore and it's just…" She trails off, unable or unwilling to finish that thought as she lapses into silence.

Th'ero doesn't move when Kimmila initially hides behind her knees, letting the bluerider vent and finish. There is some awkwardness, but mostly just because the bronzerider is unfamiliar with issues like these and really isn't the comforting type. But he did ask for it and he holds true to the fact that he is, indeed, listening. "I didn't mean move on into another relationship. Not right now or ever, if it comes to that." Th'ero explains, his tone gentle. Again, he seems to understand the bluerider, no doubt having suffered through something similar of nature. But that's an entirely different tale and not one the bronzerider will be sharing, less Kimmila pry it from him. "Just… unsettling? Right? Being suddenly thrust out on your own, not sure where to turn or who to go to." He murmurs, before suddenly moving away from Velokraeth's forearm. Carefully, oh so carefully, he approaches Kimmila and crouches down near to her. Not enough to be right in her bubble of personal space, but enough to make his presence known. And neither does he sit, ready to back off fast should the bluerider disprove.

Kimmila keeps her head down when he approaches, neither she nor Varmiroth giving any outward signs of it being a problem. "Very unsettling," she says, her voice still muffled by her knees and PJ fabric. "This ever happened to you? I've never broken up with someone before. I have no idea what to do." She lifts her head, her green eyes bright with tears she refuses to shed, but her expression shows her hurt plainly enough.

Th'ero stays where he is, in a crouch, not far off from Kimmila's side. He doesn't try to touch or reach out for the bluerider, even when she lifts her head and the bronzerider can see the hurt in her expression. But he does look back at her with a concerned look, before he shakes his head a little. "In a way, perhaps. Some is similar, though the relationship wasn't quite the same." He admits with a wan smile. "I've heard it's never easy, but that things generally work out in the end. Cliche, I know, but I'm only echoing what I've heard." Th'ero chuckles dryly, brown eyes now watching the bluerider. "It can't be good to be dwelling on it like this though." He murmurs, the frown returning.

Kimmila tilts her head slightly, questioning in her expression. "What happened? You're happy now, right? You've found someone else. I…don't know what else to do," she says again, sighing as she stares around the empty stone. "I find myself wandering to the places that were special to it. Remembering. And it doesn't hurt for a little while. Sometimes I convince myself we're still together. Imagine going back to the weyr and having it all be a bad dream. I /know/ I shouldn't be doing that, but I don't know what else to do. A'ven is a hard habit to break."

Th'ero only chuckles again, shaking his head a little in response to Kimmila's questioning expression. "It's a long, long story." He begins, glancing down now at the ledge between him and the bluerider. "But yes, I am happier now. And well, not /someone/ per say, though finding Jeyinshi was a surprise bonus." It would seem the bronzerider is sticking to cryptic replies concerning him, promptly turning the conversation back on the bluerider's own worries. "Remembering isn't bad, if it helps. Is this helping?" And Th'ero pauses a moment to spread his hands out in a gesture to include the sunning rocks. "Or is it just putting salt into the wounds?" There is a slight nod of his head, half in agreement. "It's a normal response, I think." He says, no doubt trying to reassure Kimmila some. Now it's his turn to give her a questioning look. "I've… not really met A'ven, strangely enough."

Kimmila continues to stare at the bronzerider, expectantly. "What, not someone? Something? What happened?" Cryptic responses are simply not enough for the curious bluerider, and she grasps onto any shred of diversion she can. "I don't know if it's helping. I think talking is. I'm not sure." Then she nods, looking around the empty area. "He's a good man," she says softly. "He would have been an asshole if he'd dumped Lissi when I came breezing back into town. He made the right choice. He's a good man. A wonderful father. I'm just…not good enough, I guess. I see that now. So I guess I have two choices. Improve, or find someone that isn't as good as he was."

Th'ero gives Kimmila a long, searching look when she prods him for more. The bronzerider's lips draw down into a thin line and for a moment, it seems as though he'll stubbornly refuse her. But then there is a rumble from Velokraeth, low in pitch and no doubt a warning directed to his rider. That has Th'ero's shoulders slumping a little and his gaze slips away. "Like you said, we're all broken in some way. And just like you, I screwed up when I was young and lost much more then I had bargained for." He says, still not quite giving details but at least not as cryptic as before. Th'ero then smiles faintly, finally sitting down rather then crouch where he is, since it seems Kimmila doesn't mind him there. "I'm sure he is. And I'm sure you are, though we all have our faults." The bronzerider then frowns, fixing her with a bit of a serious look. "Why not work on healing yourself first?"

Kimmila nods slowly. "It sucks, doesn't it," she says softly, and apparently that level of detail is enough for her, as she sighs and stares across the moon drenched stone. His sitting doesn't earn any reaction from the bluerider, except to rest her cheek on her knees so she can look over at him more easily. "That's choice one. Improve. Get better. And then…I don't know. Maybe when I improve I'll be stronger and I won't even want someone else in my life."

"It does. And it hurts. At times in ways that it's hard to describe, but it's a pain I'd rather not repeat." Th'ero says in an equally low tone, his own gaze wandering back over to the jungle canopy. Kimmila's last remark has him glancing back to her, a half-smile on his lips. "Exactly. Focus on yourself for a bit. Get stronger and heal. And maybe you won't, but you never know." This brings on another chuckle or two from the bronzerider.

Kimmila shakes her head, "Then why did you do it again? Get into a relationship, I mean. It can end in pain again." Then she snorts, hints of bitterness in the sound. "I spent the last three turns focusing on myself, and I fucked up my life. Maybe I should focus on someone else for a change, but I've got no one to focus on. Ugh." Shaking her head, she pushes herself to her feet, slightly wobbly from her cramped position. "Thank you for the talk, Th'ero," she says, offering him a hand up out of more habit than any thought that he'd actually need it. "I need to go work out. Stop thinking for a while. But thank you."

Th'ero can only shake his head, giving a helpless shrug of his shoulders. "Because I had nothing to loose? Sure, it can wind up bad. But I'll take my chances." He admits, before taking Kimmila's offered hand in a firm, strong grip before hauling himself up. No, the bronzerider probably didn't need it, but the gesture was respected all the same. "So? Now you'll know not to fuck it up, right? Can't hurt to focus a bit more." Th'ero muses, before nodding his head a little. "Anytime, Kimmila. I'll see you around, then? I'm still looking forwards to hunting sometime." And now he does actually grin. "And the drinks, of course." With that, he gives the bluerider a brisk wave of farewell before he's turning back to Velokraeth, taking a grip of the straps before glancing back over his shoulder. "Take care of yourself!" he says, one last time before mounting up. With a groan, Velokraeth gets to his feet, giving a parting rumble to Varmiroth before launching himself off the ledge, flying out over the canopy before winking out Between to home.

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