Heart to Heart: Unexpected Friendships

Half Moon Bay Weyr - Tidal Pools

Up a path from the lagoon sits a plateau of tidal pools. The shallowness of the pools combined with the dark stone they're made up of means that Rukbat beating on the pools in the daytime keeps them warm. The rock has been hewn gently on most of the pools to allow for ledges to sit on while still in the water. The pools allow for a more private, relaxed atmosphere than the beach below. When they are occupied, it is not uncommon to see a waitress or waiter come up from the Tiki Lounge to serve drinks to the occupants.

Makoto sits outside one of the title pools later in the day. Her shoes are off and her feet are wet, but she seemed to have gotten bored of that quickly. She sits there, an open book next to her… that got boring too. She was beyond her usual depressive, tired eyes. Her eyes seemed dead, staring out into sea as she hugs her knees. What a waste of time it was to come here… she could at least have been alone in bed… but leaving would also take effort and motivation was something she was severely lacking at the moment.

Daranyl likes to be alone sometimes, too. Especially now that he's stuck in the barracks with all the strangers and, worse, apparently expected to be kind to them. UGH. When he sees Makoto in the little hide-away, he pauses and starts to turn, wanting some solitude of his own, but something about Makoto's state makes him stop. He may not be that great with people, but even he can recognize that level of 'I'll just jump off the cliff' dejection. Making a point to scuff his feet so he doesn't scare her, he moves and sits beside her, "'Swrong?" He may not use a lot of words, but the ones he does always get his point across.

Makoto's head snaps to the side nervously when she hears the scuffing of feet but she agt least seems to have a bit of relief when she recognizes Daran. She shifts uncomfortably at the question. "N..Nothing, don't worry Daran… I'm fine…" She sighs. For a moment there is some light in her eye, as if to just try and reassure him, but it quickly fades as she stares off to the ocean. "H..Hows candidacy…?" She wasn't feeling especially talkative, but she'd much rather change the topic.

"Doesn' seem like nothin'." Normally, this is where Daran might offer the girl something that burns the pain away, but alas, as a candidate, he has none. His brows arch up slightly at the deception, then he shrugs, "'Sborin' mos'ly. Wake up, do chores, eat, sleep. How come yer no' readin' 'r somethin'?"

Makoto shrugs a bit… Also a fortunate thing too. Now's the 'perfect' time to fall into alcoholism like her mother… "Yeah… not very exciting I guess… No lessons… or anything yet?" she shrugs again. ".. I dunno, it doesn't seem very good?" or romance novels are salt on a wound?

"Soon, they say." Daranyl glances at the book, getting more from the cover than the title considering his reading level, then back at her, his brows arching, "Yer, ah…" AWKWARD. Daran lets out a breath, then asks quietly, "Why didn' ya get a new one, then? If tha' one's no good."

"W-well.. least then you might not be so bored." Makoto might normally be embarrassed over the trashy romance. She usually tries to hide when she reads that more, but… Ugh. Who cares. "Yeah I… got more books back home. T-They can't all be good, I guess…" A lot of trash romance and… smithcraft books? Techcraft books? Ugh, learning seemed awful now too.

Daranyl shrugs again, "Prob'ly still be bored. 'M no' th' classroom type, yeah?" He leans enough to nudge her shoulder with his own, "Then why're ya sittin' out here lookin' miserble instead o' gettin' a new one?" He quiets a long moment, then adds, "Ya seem like someone wha' los' their fav'rite canine 'n' their lover on th' same day."

Makoto stiffens a bit as she's nudged and sighs. "… It's… d-dumb stuff." She stares at her toes. The fact she thought it was dumb stuff made it sting even more. "I… it's okay Daran, I… I don't need you to listen to all my bullcrap…" It was also all deeply embarrassing…

Daranyl studies her for a long moment, then murmurs softly, "M' folks died when I was eight in a fire. Ez 'n' I were on our own after tha'." Part of why the twins are so close, certainly, "Seen a lotta stupid things. I won' make ya tell me, 'snot my place, but 'M here ta listen if'n ya need it."

Makoto sizes and squeezes her knees hard. "… I… had a hard enough time just losing my dad." though part of her felt like she lost both in that moment. She sighs. "… This all seems so petty compared to that…" she rocks a bit in thought in though, thinking about how to… strategically put this. "It's… relationship stuff.. Or… lack of. I… That sounds really pathetic." she shakes her head and clarifies. "I… spent so much of my life alone but… I dunno, I feel like I've been… teased with closeness so much here… and that makes it hurt more than just… going without."

Daranyl tilts his head slightly, leaning back so he can see her a little bit better, "Seems ta me ya gotta… I dunno, no' worry abou' relationship stuff 'n' jus' have fun, make frien's 'n' all. 'Snot all bumpin' uglies 'n' makin' babies, yanno."

"… Ugh, I don't even want babies." she hides her face against her knees and sighs. "… I… I just want the closeness… I-I'm 22 turns old and never had a real relationship. All my friends are having -kids- and I'm as far along as I was when I was 14." not quite, but close enough. She lets out a groan. "… Fun… Fun can only do so much."

Daranyl shrugs slightly, "'M only 21, so maybe I jus' don' unnerstan', but seems ta me tha' if ya go lookin' fer that, if tha's whatcha wan' 'n' all ya wan'? Seems like 's a good way ta be unhappy. Jus' bein' used 'n' never really gettin' whatcher affer. Whatcher affer? Ya can' make tha' happen. It jus' happens."

The words 'used' seems to hit her like a punch to the gut and she starts sobbing into her knees. Was she being used? Was everything she was doing so obvious to everyone else? "I… I don't think it's a lot to want! I have no one else in my life!" She claws at her legs in frustration. "Y-You at least have a sister!"

Oh, Fardles. Daran reaches to awkwardly pat her shoulder and back. At least he's trying, "You're no' alone. You've go' me 'n' Sunny 'n' 'M sure Hotaru's a good frien'." This is so not his forte.

Daran can feel Makoto shaking. She calms down a bit. Yeah him and Sunny were always nice to her. Her head nods along with agreement.. Hotaru's name… gets her to tense up a bit and she lets out a sad whimper… "… I love Hotaru…" she sobs out, affection ambigiously in her shakey voice.

Daranyl will so not make a 'I hit that' joke right now. His hand slides over her back a little bit more, "Ah shards. She's a nice woman, bu'… she's totally d'voted ta Nae." Not helping, Daran. NOT HELPING.

Yeah that'd go over well. Not that she didn't already know. "… I… I know…" She sighs and shakes her head. "S.. She's my best friend too… I.. I'd never want her not to be… and.. I'd never want her to leave Nae for me. I.. I'd be so mad at her!" She wipes her yes… "… It… sucks to love someone but not even be able to root for your self…"

Daranyl frowns, "'M no' sure…" HE DOESN'T GET IT. Shock. Men. He pats her back a few more times, "No' sure what ta say, Mako'o, bu'… seems ta me tha' you can either be conten' ta share or ya can keep lookin' 'n' remember tha' yer no' alone while ya look, yeah?"

Makoto groans and her tension in her back melts a bit. "… I feel so gross… I… I must seem so gross and pathetic." She lets out a series of long, slow breaths. "… I… I thought I found someone else… Nae even recommended her… But… no, It'd just me… being number 2 again to someone else." she sniffles. "… And I just jumped right into it like an idiot…."

Sadly, this isn't that moment in a soap when Daranyl goes, 'well, you idiot, I love you' and snogs Makoto. Sadly, that iconic scene is not to be. Instead, he lets his hand rest on her back as he shrugs again, "Don' know a lotta things, but I do know sometimes ya gotta stop lookin' ta fin' somethin'. Yer a nice girl. But if'n ya keep throwin' yourself at everyone, it'll keep happenin'. Not 'cause yer doin' wrong or bad, but b'cause Weyrs 're like that. They're no' like th' holds 'n' craf's with jus' one person fer another."

"I… I'm not just throwing my self at everyone!" she looks up at Daranyl in concern. "D.. Do I seem like I'm throwing my self at everyone?!" Oh god does she loo like that to everyone!? "I… I just thought I had… an actual real chance at something and it… it didn't…. didn't work out." Ugh. "Y-Yeah… I guess.. weyrs are like this. Maybe I'm not… made for a place like this."

"Wha'? No. Shards… 'M no' good at this." Daranyl rubs his hand up and down gently, trying to sooth the poor smith, "How long didya know 'im firs'?"

Makoto sighs. ".. Her. And… we met once then… sorta had a date and she… stayed over." she shakes her head. "… I didn't know I was like that… I feel like such an idiot.."

"Mako'o. I may no' be th' bes' with people, but…" Daranyl shrugs again, "Seems ta me tha' if'n ya really wanna be in love, fin' tha' feelin'? Don' rush it, jus' let it be. Spen' th' time. Jumpin' in th' sack too soon'll jus' risk more hur'. Don' be afrai', bu' don' rush, either."

Makoto nods and whimpers a bit. "We….we seemed so alike it… it seemed perfect…. Ugh." she hangs her head. "… Y…You're right but… in the moment…in the moment it seemed perfect."

"Shhh." Daranyl is trying to be comforting, really, it's just not his strongest suit, "Tha's th' scaries' of all, innit? But make yerself wai'. If nothin' else, you'll feel better abou' you affer."

Makoto nods slowly. "… I feel so gross… like I'm just letting my self be used… I…." she blushes. "H-Hotaru and Nae is different at least like… I.. I know they're with me as friends… but…" she sighs. "Y….You were witht hem once, right?"

Daranyl inclines a slow nod, "They're good peopl-" He coughs at the last question and gives his head a sudden shake, "I… ah… yeah, jus' th' once."

Makoto nods slowly. "T… They've been very good ot me… I-I think… I.. I hope they're not using me too…" she shakes her head in uncertainty.

Daranyl shakes his head slightly, "They weren', they're jus'… very free with their love. 'N' they wouldn' keep seein' ya if'n they didn't want ta. An' it's not all sex, is it? They talk 'n' help with stuff? They're frien's." He jerks a nod, "Not usin' ya."

Makoto nods slowly. "… Alright I just… I thought that, but… I d-dunno… You're right…" Stop being stupid, they're you're friends. "They've… been nothing but great to me… H-Hotaru checks on me a lot…"

Daranyl leans enough to bump into her again, "She's yer frien'. Don' overthink it. Even I… I regre' wha' I did with 'em, but not fer the reasons ya migh' think. 'N' I don' blame them fer it."

Makoto is finally calming down a bit and doesn't seem to freak out at the little bump… She looks at Daranyl with a bit of confusion. "W…why then?"

"'M no'…" Daranyl quiets a moment, considering his words carefully, "I knew goin' in tha' they were interested in gettin' pregnan' but after I started thinkin' about it 'n' realized tha' I don' feel righ' makin' a kid 'n' not being part o' its life. I won' know ever, either, 'n' tha' makes it hard, too, yeah?"

Makoto frowns at Daran… "… Is that that why you're so close to Sarina? I mean… besides being Sundari's friend?" She sighs…. "That… must be frustrating… I'm… sorry Daran."

"Wha'? No. Li'l Bit's not mine, I jus'… I dunno, I feel protective over her." Daranyl shrugs, considering things, "'N' 'M no' really upse' anymore. I was fer a while, but it was my own faul'."

"I know I just mean like… are you… projecting? Like… since you won't know if theirs is… yours?" she frowns. "Like… is it making you feel.. paternal?"

"Projectin'?" Daranyl's brows furrow, "Dunno. Don' think so. 'Ve always known I'd be a crappy da anyway. I jus'… like Li'l Bit. Always have 'n' I was there when Sunny… well, yanno, when Li'l Bit came inta th' worl' proper like."

Makoto actually gives a chuckle! Impossible! "… Oh stop it, you'd probably be a fine dad… You seem perfectly good with Sarina. It's cute, I never see you like that when dealing with anything else…"

Daranyl shrugs again, "Jus' like her. Doesn' mean I'd be good all day every day."

Makoto nods. "I guess but… I still bet you'd be better at it then you'd think. Especially if you had the right mama to help with the stuff you end up not being great at… You're better with kids than I am…"

Daranyl shrugs again, "Doesn' much matter, does it? I mean, won' know if Hotaru or Nae's are mine 'n' prob'ly not gonna go out'n go lookin' ta make more anytime soon even if I wasn' prescribed."

Makoto gives a nod… "Yeah… And I guess it's better for them if they don't know either. At least if it is yours… I'm sure they'll raise it well…" she chuckles a bit. "Well, you certainly can't now, Mr white knot."

"'Zacly. 'N' I know they've got help 'n' the Weyr 'n' all." Daranyl shrugs again, "Wha' is is."

"… It is what it is." Makoto sighs. "I… feel as little better I guess… Miserable, but better. For now…" she gives a weak laugh. "… I should… talk to Tifla again before I … freak out again I guess… At least get some closure there if nothing else…"

Daranyl nods, "Probably shoul'. Las' thing ya wan' is confusion bringin' up somethin' tha' makes it all worse later, yeah?"

Makoto sighs and lays back, looking up at the sky. "Y-yeah… and shes … such asweet girl… I.. I'm gonna guess she meant well but… Ugh." she groans. "… Number 2."

"Some day, Mako'o, some day you'll fin' someone who'll love ya fer you, yeah?" Daranyl offers her a slight smile, but it's quite the show of affection from him. "Don' let it getcha down."

"… I hope. You've all been so supportive.. I'm… just sad I… keep getting teased with it but… It is what it is, eh…?" She sighs. "Thanks… I…never thought you'd be the type to wanna listen to… crap like this."

"Ez had to have someone to talk to, yeah?" Daranyl shrugs, "'Sides, don' like seein' people I care abou' upset 'n' you were pretty upse'."

Makoto gives a nods slowly… "… I'm still pretty upset but… Well. Hm.. when you… deal with depression, one of the worst things is when you just sorta… let your insecurities echo in your head. It's… a downward spiral."

Daranyl inclines a nod and grunts a soft agreement, his words seemingly dried up for now, but there's the definite sense of comeraderie there, and understanding.

Makoto sits up and sighs… "I… I should get home. I…I really need sleep. It's… been two days." she packs her bag. "T..Thank you again Daran." She smiles a bit. "And… just… I don't think you would but… don't share this with anyone… I… I don't necessarily want people thinking anything about me."

Daranyl shrugs, "Seems like ya want 'em thinkin' about you a bit, jus' not bad things. Don' worry, I won' talk 'bout this." The 'sleep well' must be silently understood.

Makoto sighs… "I… I just don't wanna be seen as desperate and easy… Even if it seems like I am." she gives an appreicative nod. "But thank you… This is… an embarrassing subject. You're the first person I've told besides Hotaru and… obviously I can't tell her everything…" Not that Hotaru probably can't tell.

Daranyl inclines a nod, "I understan'." He nods back up towards the Weyr, "Get a new book 'n' keep goin'."

Makoto smiles and nods. "Take care, Daran…" and she heads off for what will probably still be a miserable night — but at least one that ends with sleep.

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