Sage Advice

Autumn - Month 9 of Turn 2715
Half Moon Bay Weyr - Lagoon
A sandy beach running along the edge of the lagoon, between the sparkling waters and the bowl. Given the weyr's tropical climate, riders and dragons can be seen playing in the water nearby or a dolphin can be seen cavorting nearly turn-round. At other times seacraft can be seen coming in under the arch to dock. The lagoon is large enough to fill a quarter of the length of the bowl.

At least Kelani is no longer in the infirmary even if she is still going around on crutches. Crutches and sand may not be the best combination, but well a girl has got to walk her dog and so here she comes with Sava, letting the pup run ahead of her to bark at the waves. Kelani follows behind at a slow pace.

Ahh, beaches. A place for sun, sand, and dragon-washing. If R'sner was here for the latter, he's finished and done, Toith long gone and nowhere to be seen at the moment. So sun. And sand. And maybe a drink, as he lounges in a chair and looks uncharacteristically relaxed. It's the barking Sava that shifts his attention away from the watery horizion and closer to home, finding first the canine and then the human who's accompanying her. On crutches. Up, out of his sandy man-made wallow and over to the pair, steps hesitating only as second-guessing seems to kick in. "Kelani," which is the greeting, serving both as 'hi' and 'how are you' without really saying either of those things. "And Sava." Because he remembers the pups name! "Do you need help?"

Her name being called out in that questioning manner, draws Kelani's attention and she looks over to R'sner. "Hey…yeah, I am fine. Just had a clutzy moment over at Monaco." She looks about to deny his help but looks at the stretch of sand between her and the chairs and finally nods, "I think so if you don't mind." She says even as Sava runs up with her ploom of tail wagging at the tall man.

Sava gets a smile. A legit, honest-to-Faranth smile, in the sense that the sides of R'sner's mouth move upward and there is a bit of a crinkling to the corner of his eye. Dogs, apparently, are a soft spot. He kneels briefly, bestowing a proper greeting toward the pup in the form of hand offering and ear ruffling, if she will allow it. "I heard about that," he murmurs, a touch of empathy adding inflection to an otherwise monotonous tone of voice. As for the help to be given? An awkward moment as R'sner considers the options available to him, and eventually puts the decision in Kelani's hands with a hesitant, "… uh. Do you just need an arm to lean on, or…"

Kelani tilts her head as she watches the interaction between the gruff greenie and her pup. Sava of course laps its all up. She is the princess that all should adore after all. At the ruffling of hair she tries to lick his fingers before rolling over for a belly rub. The response about the hatching has her casting her eyes down, "I missed it, S'van brought me back here before the hatching. I just wanted to be home again." She says before nodding to him and stransfering the crutches to one hand to take an offered arm. "That should do. Just something steadier than crutches in sand before I end up with two sprained ankles."

And belly rubs shall be had, if quickly. Up, and an arm given over to the hobbling healer before R'sner makes for the chairs. "You would not have enjoyed it," he states, rather firm in his conviction of such. A moment of hesitation and then he adds in a lower tone, "The power cut out and the entire place went black." It is a clarification; an attempt to explain why he believes she would have found fault with the experience, as if understanding how his prior statement may have been interpreted and wanting to alter that interpretation. A press of his lips and a glance for the chairs.

Sava clearly enjoys the brief attention and pops back up as he does and goes back to barking at the waves. Kelani holds onto the offered hand as she sorta hops/walks with him toward the chairs. At the mention of the power outage Kelani pauses and looks up at him, "Really? Oh…" There is a little shiver that runs through her, "Maybe this way was meant to be then. Funny how the fates work out…I would have shamed myself in front of everyone if I had been there. It was embaressing enough being forced out of candidacy."

Arm taken, R'sner heads for the chairs at a sedate pace, taking care to adjust his stride depending upon how Kelani is fairing beside him. There is no further confirmation of the power outage, at least not verbally. But his expression speaks clearly enough to the reality of the situation. "Perhaps," for the fates. But it's her comment on shame and embarrassment that has him frowning in her direction. "There is no embarrassment in leaving due to an injury," he responds. "It was an unfortunate accident, nothing more." As they near the chairs, he pauses.

Kelani hops along steadily with R'sner, relying on him a bit more at times as she loses balance. At his words she looks up to him, "I suppose I am still dealing with it all. There was a part of me that wondered what I was doing there in the first place and then…when this happened, I should have felt relief." She gives a little sigh, "But now I just think about what might have been. Would I be a weyrling now or back here anyhows?"

R'sner is steady and solid, providing support when needed, at least physically. Emotional support may be more challenging. "You were there because you were Searched," which seems pretty cut and dry to him. "Did you not want to be there?" There is no judgement in the question, though perhaps a bit of confusion. "It sounds as though you did. If you were upset to leave…" He's trying to puzzle it all out; this disconnect and confusion over why she was a candidate, and then being upset when she wasn't anymore. "Don't think about it. You can't change the past," which is offered perhaps a bit more firmly than he meant, a bit of tightness and perhaps resentment in his tone. "Would you be a weyrling? Maybe. Or you could have been mauled on the sands when the power went out." Shrug. "You'll do nothing but cause yourself misery if you play with 'what if' scenarios."

Kelani releases his arm to lower herself onto the chair, though looks up at him, "I think…I don't know what I want. I want to be a healer with every fibre of my being…that I do know. But outside of that…everything is complicated. Dragons, friendships, romance. Things that are a distraction to the main goal, but..I know are compatible to it as well if held in balance." Yep, an overthinker this one is. The words of being mauled get a sharp look at him, "Because I would have been so scared? Does that cause them to react funny?"

Once she is seated, R'sner snags a chair and drags it closer, settling in to keep their conversation going but private. A press of his lips as he studies the healer, listening in silence as she works through her thoughts aloud. "You think too much," he decides, but his voice has softened some. "None of that is within your control. Dragons, especially. Romance and friendship… even that is unpredictable and cannot be planned for." He watches her curiously, narrowed eyes and thoughtful expression, so the sharp look gets a bit of a jerk of his shoulders as he straightens up. "No, Kelani. Because Hatchlings are clumsy and dangerous creatures even when you can see them coming. Maulings happen even with the lights on, and it was as black as Between in there. I am honestly shocked there were no fatal injuries."

Kelani looks up a little surprised at his comment before taking a slow breath and letting it out. "I suppose I have been accused of that from time to time." She admits finally and settles back on the chair. "Just a few more months with my head down and I will be old enough to walk the tables for Journeyman. I will then have more freedom with stuff." She looks back to the bowl and some dragons resting there. "Then I will be free for all the other stuff." She says before looking back to him. "Well at least if the lights are up…having a trained healer out on the sands can only be a good thing?"

"From time to time," repeats R'sner, looking amused enough that he actually sort of smiles at the statement. He might just be teasing her. Maybe. 'A few more months' gets acknowledgement with a quiet 'Mm,' to show that he is listening, but no additional commentary. "The other stuff," repeated, this time not so amused or teasing. "Can I give you some advice?" but he won't stop to wait for her answer. "You want to be a Healer, and that is wonderful. You are incredibly smart, and clearly very driven and dedicated to your craft. But that 'other stuff' is the whole reason life is worth living at all." As for dragons? "If you decide to Stand, it would be in the capacity of Candidate, not Healer. And there usually is a trained Healer on standby, for Hatchings."

Kelani can't help but smile to see the smile on his lips, such a rare occasion it is. "You should try that more often, it looks good on you." She comments before going quiet as he offers the advice and slowly she nods, "I suppose I never really got to see it growing up. It was just me and Da and mostly I just was raised with other older students until I became an apprentice and moved to healer hall. I had friends …but I suppose I always put them second to my learning." She gives a shrug at that. "There is time for all that later." She cants her head and then nods, "Of course..when I commit to something I would follow through."

Rare indeed. And fleeting, at that. R'sner's default expression returns, descending just after she calls attention to his smile. It is not an outright rejection of the comment, simply a return to his version of equilibrium, which tends to err on the side of gloomy. More explanations, absorbed with silent contemplation and some amount of understanding, though her final comment gets a rather serious frown. "No. See, that is exactly my point," and he turns toward her, inclining his body in a manner that suggests seriousness of intent. "There isn't time later. You could die tomorrow. They could die tomorrow," and there is an elevation to his voice, an almost desperation that seems to startle even him. Deep breaths, meant to steady and restrain. "I'm sorry. That was out of line. I'm not trying to tell you how to live your life… I just want you to appreciate what you have, while you have it."

Sava picks this time to come back to the pair and scrambles up on Kelani's chair to settle into her lap. The healer reaches down to stroke her before the intensity of R'sner's words and inflection catch her by surprise. By time he is done talking there is actually a hint of moisture in her eyes. "I am sorry…you have clearly been through a great loss and I am here fretting over silly stuff. You are right…just..well I seem to have crushes on the wrong people. Just..well it feels easier to just keep my heart guarded then to deal with rejection. Maybe what I feel for them is just strong friendship…not love. I am not sure I could tell the difference. A girl who I think is not into girls, a friend who is weyrmated, an older mentor..but nothing quite seems right."

If anything, the reappearance of Sava softens R'sner further; as if the sight of a completely innocent creature can break down that bit of wall he holds between himself and the world. A hand is extended toward the pup, to allow for sniffing and licking, and perhaps a little ear rubbing if she's accommodating of it. Another long inhale, a deep and steady breath, and then a shake of his head. "Don't apologize, Kelani. It is not your responsibility to live or act according to my standards. Faranth knows I made mistakes. I just… don't want you to regret things." Like maybe he does? A few minutes are taken in silence; for recomposing himself, for listening, or simply to let the weight of words and worries fade a little bit. There's a sympathetic sort of expression as she explains her situation. "I'm not good for relationship advice; but I can safely say that I regret the things I didn't do, more than I regret the chances I took." A shrug of his shoulders, and he settles somewhat in his chair, an attempt at relaxing even if there's a pervasive tension through his shoulders. "You don't have to do anything about those feelings. You can simply feel them. And if it is just a crush, it will dissipate with time."

The pup looks quite content to get the attention once more and leans into the petting with a incessently wagging tail. Little licks of fingers given time to time. Perfect little icebreaker she is. "I know…I suppose I just told you that..I am not completely closed off from it…just..still sorting out who I am and my feelings about others. I hate to ruin things with someone by admitting how I feel." She gives a little shrug, "I get what you are saying…it is not like I haven't seen someone die young. I nearly did when I was young." A soft sigh and she looks up at him, "Did you want to talk about her?" She says making a guess at his own passions on this topic.

"If they are your friends, then nothing will be ruined by your admittance of feelings." R'sner. So full of wisdom, even if he's currently dolling out attention to Sava, encouraged by the way the pup seems to soak it all up. It gives him something to focus on, outside of the heavy conversation. "Although, I would advise against the weyrmated friend; that… is probably best left unspoken." As for him, and his situation? Her offer is met with a brief stiffening of his body, and a curt shake of his head. "No… I'd rather not. Not right now. It was many Turns ago, and speaking more about it will only reopen the wound."

"Yeah, I would rather have him as a friend then nothing at all. I suppose he is more like a big brother than anything." Kelani says with a shrug as she watches him pet Sava. There is a hint of a smile as she watches him relax with the attention of the pup. "I think if I ever get searched again I think I know who to have look after her next time." There is a faint nod to his wish not to speak of things , "Ok." She says simply and looks out over the water. "I suppose all I can offer is my youthful wisdom to throw the words of elders back at them. Don't close yourself off from things either."

"If you decide to Stand as Candidate again, I would be delighted to have her," seconds R'sner, voice almost… gentle. "I don't have a pet. It doesn't make sense, with how often I am gone and how much care they require. But I have always had a fondness for canines." And then, more silence. A press of his lips; a briefly hard expression, and then a bit of surprise for the tossing back of his own damn advice. "Uh…" because what is he really going to say to that, truly? "I don't," is a really, really lame argument when he's currently tossing up the mental equivalent of a brick wall between them, leaning back and looking suddenly guarded. And "That's different," is equally as unimpressive, because really, it's no different at all. A frown - a scowl really - and he asks, "What is it you think I am closing myself off from?" which is the best argument he can think to make.

"Alright, its a deal then. I doubt you will over feed her like the healers apprentices did." Indeed she might be a little rounded then before, if you can find the belly amoungst the fur. His reaction to her turnabout of advice causes her to smile gently at him. "Well I guess you are getting better…You don't just call me Healer anymore, but sometimes it does feel like you..are keeping a wall around you is all."

Ahh, round, fluffy puppies. There's not much else cuter in the world, even if R'sner isn't going to say as much. He will, however, agree with her assessment that he won't be responsible for fattening her further, a little sound in the back of his throat serving as confirmation. "I cannot argue with that assessment," for the wall around him, begrudgingly admitted, but admitted none the less. Any argument he may have, in defense of that wall, falls flat and goes unspoken. He will, instead, touch on the first point she made. "Perhaps I ought to call you 'healer', as professional courtesy. It simply feels too formal, though. You trusted me with your fear of the dark. I feel inclined to trust you a bit in return."

"If you feel so inclined you can call me that in the infirmary, but out of the infirmary..I am Kelani." She says with a shrug before shifting a bit in the chair to get her foot more comfortable. Still strapped up and padded to keep it immobile. She tilts her head to look up at him again. "You helped me a lot that day and I can't thank you enough for it. I hate that I have that phobia…I suppose its better than it used to be…but absolute darkness..I just feel transported back to that cave." There is a little shiver of her shoulders. "But yes you can trust me, I am a healer after all, I am honour bound not to break it."

"I doubt I will ever see you in the infirmary." Because he avoids it. Like the plague. Cobalt blue eyes find that padded foot as she shifts, and the offer of, "Do you want me to get you something," comes almost unbidden from R'sner. "Ice. Or a drink?" Or pain meds? Even if that last one is left unasked. "How do you feel in low light?" he wonders absently. "How dark does it need to get, before you feel uncomfortable?" As for trusting healers? R'sner's lips press into that thin line once again. "I don't want to argue with you," he states simply, and forgoes any further explanation about healers, and trusting them.

"I wouldn't mind a drink…one of those colourful ones with an umbrella. It will serve as all three." Kelani says with a smile up at him before she wrinkles her nose a bit at the question of her phobia. "Outside at night I am long as I can see the stars. So…I know its the sky above my head and not a hole in the ground. As long as I can see an exit. I keep a glow in my room in case the power goes out. I was already a little nervous up there that day. Just having some walls between me and the vacuum of space..and what if the life support had gone out with the lights and..well the lights going out was just a final straw." She cants her head again, "Other than healers, is there anything you are scared of?"

"A drink, then," and R'sner is up and out of that chair so fast, some might think he was avoiding something. But he is not gone very long. He doesn't even go all the way to the Tiki Lounge; just far enough to catch one of the waiters wandering around the sandy beach and doing exactly what it is R'sner wants him to do; deliver drinks. He sends the man off with an order for beverages, trusting he will return in due time, and returns to his chair beside Kelani in short order. "You could try… building a tolerance for the dark?" he offers. "Though perhaps you should seek advice from someone else; I have no experience with such things," he admits. "I am not afraid of healers," is the counter to her question. "I just dislike them. It's nothing… personal."

Kelani sits in the chair as R'sner heads off in search of the drink and Sava moves back to settle in her lap. Kelani gives her a stroke and smile, "We are alright." She murmurs before looking back up as R'sner returns and continues the conversation. "Yeah, I am better than I used to be. I think part of that day was just everything…A few turns ago I would have never tolerated a bedroom without a window." She says with a little shrug, "Sometimes the feeling just catches me and I just really have to ground myself." She smiles at the last words, "Well hopefully your opinion is changing a little."

R'sner is quiet once again, head inclined slightly in her direction to show that he is listening. But he does not offer further input or advice, though there's a softening of his expression toward the end there; a sympathy and understanding for 'grounding' against the feeling. He is briefly spared from commending on his opinion of healers by the arrival of their drinks, speedily delivered by efficient Tiki Lounge staff; a fruity drink for Kelani, complete with umbrella as requested. Something dark and iced for R'sner, which he rises up to take. "Maybe someday, I will explain myself," and his dislike for Healers, "But today is not that day." But he does offer a flicker of apology, in his expression. "For today, let's just enjoy the sun, and the drinks. And then if you are inclined, I will help you and Sava get back to the weyr."

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