Turn Around

Xanadu Weyr - Someweyr
This space lacks in personal touches that could have possibly made it feel like a home. There is a large bed dressed in simple standard fare typical of Xanadu's guest weyrs with the addition of two plain wooden dressers that match the nightstands on either side of it, a small kitchen with a bistro table and two chairs, a tiny bathroom, and a screened off hot spring for bathing. This is all. There is no adornment on the walls, no rugs on the cold stone floor, and but a minuscule hearth to keep the intimate space warm in weather changes.

It's late. It's really, really, late and yet J'en was not in bed snuggled up with his weyrmate like he should have been. He'd gone to bed with Taeski, but sometime between then and now he'd planted himself before the hearth which had been carefully stoked and maintained even though enough time had passed for it be mere embers. Idly he sits, wearing little more than a pair of sleep pants, beer in one hand and a poker in the other. Presumably lost in his own thoughts, the bronzerider's gaze is distant and unseeing, tipping back the beer and poking at the fire with nothing but the cracking and popping of dry wood to keep him company.

Eventually, Taeski stirs. It's not hard to notice that he's missing a bedmate, after all. He might be warm and snuggled in the blankets, but the solid mass of J'en next to him was /missing/. Eyes slide open in the dark, body shifting upright to look around. It's simply reflex for him, really, to take in his surroundings before speaking up. He does find the bronzerider near the hearth however, eventually slipping out of bed. Socked feet pad against the floor before he sinks behind Jae, arms draping themselves over his shoulders while the former renegade leans right into his back, speaking softly against his ear. "Can't sleep?" He's still fairly drowsy by the sound of him, gently tipping his head to rest it against J'en.

Given the silence of the room overall, it wasn't difficult to hear the rustling of blankets and sheets, even if the former renegade was relatively quiet on his feet. Thus, J'en is not surprised when those pale arms encircle his broad shoulders, still toasty warm from being all wrapped up in the bed he had abandoned. Golden eyes slide to one corner before he tips back the beer again, "No." he says after swallowing, setting the poker down instead of randomly trying to murder the fire by stabbing at it unproductively. Then his gaze returns to the flames. "We should head back to Half Moon soon." This is said softer, almost reluctantly.

Taeski presses his lips to one of J'en's bare shoulders, then lets go, moving to the side to settle down next to the bronzerider. Those words at least have the teen growing more alert, watching his weyrmate carefully for just a moment. "Mm. Probably. Gone too long and they might give your weyr away." He's silent then for a second, before fingers reach for J'en's beer to steal a sip of it. "But if you're not ready, we don't need to." There's a quick glance at the fire then, before he gets up to put a bit more wood on the low flames. "What brought this on?"

Closing his eyes upon feeling lips pressed against his skin, J'en opens them again as he's released and Taeski walks around the lounge in order to park himself beside him. There is no expression either in his face or gaze that would denote any doubt. He just looked tired and perhaps still a little sad. There was no reason to hold any pretenses with the former renegade, after all, they'd been together long enough for trust to not even be an issue. "That ain't the point," he says, sighing. Honestly, there wasn't anything there to go back to on his end, as he'd done an excellent job tearing the place up before he left. Not that things couldn't be replaced. He says nothing more for a while though, letting Tae take his beer to sip at before it's returned to his left hand. "I dun think I'll ever be ready, not with yer uncle there, but I ain't gunna let that self important fucktard dictate anythin' havin' to do with meh. I saved his fuckin' life and he thanks meh by fillin' our heads up with…" Well, Taeski was there and saw it, so there was no need to relive it. The bronzerider shakes his head, looking elsewhere. "I'm sorry he did that, Tae. I'm also sorry that I can't just let thin's go or forget 'em."

Taeski makes a slight face of the reminder of Ila'den's dragon in his head. No, Tei was /never/ pleasant. "You /were/ right, however. I don't know him that well, but lashing out seems to be how he..handles things. And from being bound in bed, I suppose it was the only way for him to." Not that it makes it /better/, but at least Taeski can be just a /bit/ more understanding after the fact. He settles in close to J'en's side again though, looking off at the fire. "Heh..that's what I said when I first came here. He couldn't stand it, but I wasn't going to let him stop what we were trying to do." The teen takes in a slow breath, letting it out again calmly. "Nobody said you should forget what's been done. It's just a matter of not letting it dominate everything else, I think."

"Now that Leketh has yer permission, he's gunna be keepin' a thought on ya at all times," J'en replies, having returned his full attention back upon the former renegade. "He's not gunna let Teimyrth run rampant in yer head anymore, 'cause without yer permission, knowin' how it affects ya is far too close to rape than I'll allow. He did that shit on purpose, and there ain't no excuse for it." It was also the first time he can recall hearing that particular dragon's mindvoice and it was nasty, far worse than anything he'd ever had the misfortune of being shoved inside his head. Other than, the images that had accompanied it. He lets Taeski snuggle in against his side, still nursing the same beer that he was at the start of the conversation, not seeming in any hurry to finish it up. "Ain't talking about what I did to save his life." He was talking about that bronzerider that'd been shoved into their brains, "Ain't like I didn't get some sick satisfaction watchin' him suffer, 'cause I did. I want him to hurt, want them both to hurt as much as I…" Did? Do? Something like that. "At the same time, I jus' want 'im to be happy. It's fucked up, but it is what it is." Him not being Ila'den of course, that guy could burn in a fiery place forever and Jae would be okay with it. With that, he sets the beer down and twists at the waist, hauling his weyrmate into his lap and gathering his face up in his hands, "I jus' want ya to know that I none of that shit that happened has anything to do with the way I feel about ya."

Taeski tilts his head just slightly, perhaps in thought over the draconic intrusion being referred to as rape. There are certain things that his mind tends to have a difficult time adjusting to, after all. Violence is simply a normal thing to him, a thing he grew up around constantly. There's a small snort of laughter though, lifting a brow as he looks at J'en again. "It's not that fucked up. You don't just stop caring about someone, even if it changes over time into something…else." He helps a bit as he's pulled over into the bronzerider's lap, leaning into his weyrmate's hands contently. "Mm, I know that. I just don't like seeing it eat at you so badly. It makes me want to peel R'hyn's face from his skull and feed it to him." …Taeski's mind is never, ever, going to lose the tendency toward the graphically morbid.

Having not grown up the same way as Taeski, it's possible that J'en would never understand the normality of having those types of thoughts clawing at one's brain. Not that he didn't have dark thoughts, everyone did. What he had experienced was rape and plenty of it, and so with only this as a reference point it was the only comparison he could make comfortably. "It's still fucked up," he argues, but lets it go a moment later with a heavy sigh. "But no, ya dun't." Yet, he felt the need to apologize for not hating one bronzerider as much as he hated the other. Stroking the pads of his thumbs over the highest points of Taeski's face, Jae looks deeply into those silvery eyes which due to the firelight more closely resembled his own. "It ain't R'hyn, Taeski. I was the one that broke things off with 'im, and I can't exactly blame 'im for fallin' for someone else anymore than he can blame meh for fallin' for ya." Said soft and gentle, but takes on a darker tone the further he goes on, "What I can and will do, is blame yer uncle for sneakin' 'round behind mah back and manipulatin' the situation in his favor. Playin' at bein' mah friend and then takin' what he wants. Risali ain't here to make meh feel bad for wishin' those renegades finished what they started before we got there." There's a growl at the end, then a flash of guilt across his face as he drops his hands away from Tae's cheeks, looking down and away now. "It's pretty fucked up though that as much as I hate 'im for what he did, still wantin' R'hyn to be happy even if it isn't with meh."

Taeski shakes his head slightly, leaning it forward to rest against J'en's forehead. "I don't blame you for it. I can't bring myself to hate Ila'den, but I know that we'll never be..in any sense of the word, close. Hate him as much as you like." There's no reason at all for /him/ to feel badly about Ila'den bringing down someone else's ire on himself. There's a faint smile though, before the teen leans back a little, peering at J'en. "I doubt R'hyn doesn't want you to be happy, too though."

Golden eyes close, long fingers soon brought up to comb though inky dark tresses of the former renegade's head when he rests it against his own. He just drinks in the words that are being spoken, letting them distribute throughout his mind.. When the former renegade leans back, J'en looks at him again, brushing a thumb over the thinness of his smile. "I doubt R'hyn thinks about meh at all Tae, and…I'm okay with that." Whether or not that was true, is left to interpretation, the bronzerider leaning forward and pressing his mouth soft and chastely to Taeski's, sliding his hands down along curve of the younger boy's spine until they settle lightly upon his hips.

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